Computers and self-cleaning nappies . . .

"My name is George Ingram Alexander Carroll, I was born in Kidderminster during a thunderstorm on August 1 and I'm afraid there's going to be very little that I can tell you about the 20th century.

"Moving house when I was three weeks old? Slept right through it. Uncle Nick's wedding? Too busy feeding to notice. England sneaking into the qualifying play-offs for Euro 2000? Had a bad dose of wind that night. The millennium? What's that about then? As long as I've got a bottle of warm milk (shaken not stirred) and a clean nappy I'll be all right.

"No, my early memories will be of the 21st century, though I doubt if things will initially be too different then from the way they are now.

"Big brother Frank will still be charging about wrecking the house; Mum will be running around after him clearing up the mess; and Dad will still be playing his terrible Teenage Fanclub albums.

"Technology is certain to play an increasingly important part in life. No doubt I'll have to get a grip on computers from an early age so I can e-mail granny and grandad when they retire to Greece.

"But hopefully computers won't come to dominate our lives completely and 'real' experiences will still be valued above 'virtual' ones.

"As I get older, with any luck we'll finally find a cure for cancer, end famine in the Third World and traffic jams will be a thing of the past. We might even come up with a self-cleansing nappy. That would certainly impress Mum and Dad - when they come to visit my kids."